The Link Between Personal Style and Self-Love

Tonight’s post is for the girl who never feels “put together” but longs for the skill. Notice, I said “skill”. I didn’t say luck, bougie closet, an endless bank account, or the innate fashion sense of the chosen few. I said SKILL. AKA something that can be learned, refined, and made your own. Now, do some people have the prowess to look snatched (I googled how to make that word fit in that sentence) with little to no effort? Sure! However, can personal style be developed and executed with practice? Absolutely.

Allow me to pause here for a moment and chat with you about the link between personal style and self-love. Fundamentally believing that you are WORTHY and ENOUGH is essential to finding/re-discovering your own personal style. If you don’t value yourself, your sense of identity is obscured. If your sense of identity is obscured by self-loathing or negative self-talk, then how could you possibly pinpoint the essence of your beauty? Take note… I don’t mean external beauty. This is “inner” work, my friends. I believe that how you choose to show up in the world is a direct reflection of what’s going on in your heart. Let me say that louder for the people in the back. I believe that how you CHOOSE to show up in the world is a direct reflection of what’s going on in your heart. This isn’t so much about what you are wearing but rather how you are wearing it.

Are you squeezing into panties that don’t fit or wearing bras that have well surpassed their expiration date just because they happen to be trolling at the bottom of your panty drawer? I know I have. I have because life happens. We all go through seasons. Money is tight. You’ve lost your job. You are the mom to a beautiful bundle of joy that hates sleep. You are battling infertility. You are fresh off of a divorce. You’ve just been blindsided with the news that your child has special needs and your life will never be the same. You just lost a loved one and are battling depression. It’s okay. Wear the sweats and the granny panties and the sports bras, but don’t stay there forever. Unless sweats, granny panties, and sports bras are an intentional element in your personal style which I fully support.

Here are a few practical tips to start….

  1. Take a style quiz. There are so many online.
  2. Get a full-length mirror and document looks so you can review later when you need ideas or want to recreate certain looks. Below are pictures I’ve taken over many years using this mirror. They were never intended to end up on a blog so forgive the quality of some of the images.
  3. Start with properly fitting undergarments. I can’t stress this enough!
  4. Try a capsule wardrobe.
  5. Clean out your closet and keep only what you LOVE and FEEL GOOD IN right now!

An additional note…..

Are you battling obesity? I have struggled with obesity for as long as I can remember. I have taken the pills, done the diets, had the surgery. None of those “solutions” addressed the heart of the matter….my mind. Today, I actively participate in what I believe is the world’s best weight loss program and personal coaching called No BS ( with Corrine Crabtree. I do this work not because obesity stops me from having a sense of personal style but because I would really love it if obesity did not shorten my days on this earth prematurely. When I take pictures of my plus-sized body and post them, I am not glamorizing obesity, I am loving the body that I am standing in TODAY and showing other plus-sized women that they can love themselves today too. Should you work on your overall mental and physical health? Of course, you should! That requires discipline to take teeny tiny baby steps towards a healthier you which is a very personal journey for each individual. Regardless of what your journey looks like, the ENERGY that drives self-discipline is LOVE. Love yourself into better health my friends and rock your personal style in the process!

Hugs, Melb+